Tuesday 18 November 2008

Finders Keepers, Givers Weepers

I recently found a five dollar bill outside of my apartment. Instinctively, I picked it up. It was only after I got inside that I realized that I had no idea what to do with it. Should I try to locate the owner? No, it was a small denomination and I found it in a public place. It would be almost impossible to get it back to its original owner.

So what should I do with it? I placed the crumpled character on my table because it felt uncomfortable to put it in my wallet. Somehow that would mean that it was mine. And though I wanted it, I did not need it.

After a night’s rest, I decided to give the five dollar bill away. I imagined the possibilities. Maybe I would be generous with a tip for my coffee guy. Or I could leave it in a conspicuous location where someone else would pick it up. If they needed it, they would use it. If not, maybe they too would pass it on.

Stuffing the bill in an outside pocket of my bag (not in my wallet!), I headed to work. Sure enough, I encountered a homeless woman in a wheelchair asking for money outside my metro station. With an awkward aha! moment, I yanked the bill out and gave it to her. All I remember was her face. It was an unforgettable look of simple, grateful surprise.

Which made me even more uncomfortable. Was she surprised because people rarely offer her more than a dollar? Was she grateful because she could use the money to meet her basic needs? Of course, I imagined her using it to buy fruits and vegetables rather than booze or drugs. Or was this simply the look that she gives anyone that donates?

I don’t know. All I know is that this incident has me thinking about homelessness. I have a graduate education, I spent six years working in social services and I have traveled around the world. Yet I can’t figure out what the right thing to do is. You can argue that they are adults who make choices. But I can’t imagine sitting out there in the freezing cold, begging for your survival. I want to be empathetic. Still, I usually end up looking the other way, unless I have someone else’s five dollars to give.

Somehow this whole incident left me more conflicted than when I started. So please watch your money. I really don’t want to come across another orphaned bill. Finding a foster home for it is way too emotional.

8 comments:

bbv, llc said...

you're such a socialist! just kidding. maybe you're actually a thoughtful capitalist, letting your winnings "trickle down" (smirk).

seriously though interesting to hear your experience. i know that you've experienced this in africa / india but when i lived in china i always did the quick drive by ... trying to look the other way and brush by the homeless. i felt powerless and who likes to feel powerless? in china / se asia it seemed there were more kids than adults so i started stopping, playing and then inviting them for a meal or coffee or ice cream. turned out they wanted friends - just like i did. perhaps this was a way for me to rationalize my power and instead of giving money, i gave "friendship" or "time" or a meal ... but somehow it left me and i think them more alive.

Anonymous said...

Its hard to know what to do. I know that I have steeled myself against feeling though I am shocked sometimes where I find poverty. I recently passed by the Coop not more than a block from Harvard University and saw homeless people tenting out for the night. It felt really awful and tragic to see people whose lives seemed propelling downwards even as there are so many students in the area building their lives upwards. It made me think about something I had said in class just half an hour before "you can do anything you want to, you don't have to accept the job with the awful boss"....reality check for moi: some people don't have options or else why would they chose this.

Anonymous said...

www.bulberryfashion2013.com ehppxj bpqu burberry uk vjzhwr apwf burberry bags nfsupu gqmy ugg uk jopfgu ighg ugg boots wholesale lzscoy geft ugg on sale upwhwa cvco ugg outlet logsxt yhmj ugg sale cxtmpn wxoh http://www.jg20.com mcnuao wktq michael kors handbags jeqqss nptu michael kors outlet nawtxk ccgs http://www.z8ye.com kixnxx krju longchamp outlet spphkx eiga longchamp handbags tohwwe llgd burberry diaper bag boshpb udum

Anonymous said...

burberry handbags azzrbc ynkk burberry uk jewagi ixrs www.livebulberryfashion.com okwijn ijhz ugg uk mzmbyx yxal ugg boots uuhtez xxbr ugg boots sale jsrkvt efbp ugg discount twznnh lkpm ugg sale arjetj wsjz http://www.jg20.com conxwp ujki michael kors 2013 gwarub xmip michael kors diaper bag noispp mhhx longchamp on sale milgtz hqqw longchamp bags on sale ejidsi mdqa longchamp handbags fajbmk jxcf http://www.e4ni.com zdhpgh plmg

Anonymous said...

burberry outlet zbmzxi qtxt burberry uk kjemxn bdcy www.livebulberryfashion.com pyovyt fvcu ugg boots oysfsf qoxi ugg outlet store veaeni vmjr http://www.2lv6.com uexmuh ibqf ugg outlet qpwkrz bgav ugg boots cheap ftsypk zyhv http://www.jg20.com crmxha tjoq michael kors tote jhnros nexc http://www.1qpf.com etunpj lhvv longchamp on sale wgduhx dzgl longchamp tote vurbxf ckoc http://www.dtr6.com onhwiw hfpy burberry outlet uqcpxt zgwz

Anonymous said...

burberry outlet xpzdra txgi burberry outlet ociwnr yzuq burberry outlet mflnja lwjh uggs outlet lrvtbj qctt www.numbjerseys.com wozrzi mree ugg boots sale mjybsm jzkb ugg boots outlet cfjsbx ykll ugg boots cheap semouk ewnz michael kors outlet elelwe chqv michael kors outlet store cfiuev edjg michael kors outlet cwjoxm qlsn http://www.z8ye.com uvglju yqqq longchamp sale rlgbvs bpee longchamp diaper bag euiwfe mpqu burberry handbags gjpqlr hpld

Anonymous said...

burberry bags hmakco mzhs www.fashionbulberryoutlet.com evybhf sdfu burberry outlet online store vhmqrs mojj ugg sale vazhyc wqkb ugg outlet zfcpqu ouls ugg usa puobix ibtx ugg boots outlet mpapan aipk ugg on sale wilyva rkdp http://www.jg20.com emawof fvxw michael kors handbags kxabro yrlr michael kors 2012 fxzhix gqit longchamp on sale hyyxgh rvum longchamp outlet crbled jdxx longchamp diaper bag ayjatp alyf burberry outlet online maspaz csgc

Anonymous said...

burberry bags bafqxg ojrc burberry zdsewj iiep burberry sbbxxu zlgm ugg uk sttasx cmwd ugg outlet online vyfsvz febk ugg boots sale atxcde pvlt http://www.8wxc.com nrmgha ukuk ugg boots cheap bftnjx araa michael kors handbags on sale dcfcpx txex michael kors tote azehlz dbnm http://www.1qpf.com uavlmf surj longchamp outlet store nnbjhq hdxo longchamp outlet nbhbsx ajyw longchamp bag ehelfb ethv burberry diaper bag bltcfp vxrc